I know I’ve technically been blogging for only three weeks, but I truly missed writing last week. You missed it, too? Aww… thanks!

While I was disappointed, I recognize that the point of writing this blog is to record our lives in the throes of this transition. It’s not surprising that life might get in the way of writing every single week. And that’s OK. (If you know me and my perfectionist tendencies, you’ll understand that that statement is pretty stunning for me to claim, but it’s true.) It feels good to acknowledge that.

And so here we are. The good news is that now I have TWO weeks’ worth of news to share. So grab a cuppa and get comfy….

Back when Kevin and I began to explore international schools earlier this year, we came across what Kevin called a “varsity-level” school. This K–12 school is more like a college than any school I’ve ever known; it has resources and a campus the likes of which I’d never imagined a school could have. We were both blown away by it. But it also felt a little out of our league—at least for our first international posting. Kevin toyed with the idea of applying, and we did some research into life as a teacher and an expat there. We really liked what we learned. This amazing school* is in Bangkok.

While part of me was immediately sold on the idea of moving there, one of the things I’ve been practicing over the past few years is to not hang on too tightly when I really, really want something. I can get a bit… obsessive, shall we say? So while I was tempted to fixate on getting into this particular school, instead I heard the quiet voice in my head that said, simply, “Bangkok or better.” I’ve come to recognize this quiet voice as my deepest inner wisdom. My beloved business coach, Amy Jones, calls this voice “the Captain.”

I can’t take credit for the idea of “… or better,” nor can I recall exactly where I first learned about it, but it’s an incredible tool to help me remember that I can’t control outcomes and that it’s actually much better to let go and trust that all will be as it’s meant to be. And so I did. While I kept thinking “Bangkok or better,” we kept looking at other international schools. Then several domestic schools began to contact Kevin, requesting interviews.

We found out that the position at the school in Bangkok had been filled, and so it was starting to look as if we’d end up stateside, in either Virginia or Texas. These were both wonderful schools, and we imagine we’d have been very happy at either one. But then an international school contacted Kevin, and they were VERY interested in talking with him asap. We were in NYC with the boys at the time, and from a cursory glance at the school’s website we weren’t quite as impressed as we had been by some other schools. But we decided that it made sense for Kevin to do the interview anyway, if only to see what kinds of questions an international school would ask.

The rest is now history, of course, but don’t you also think it’s fascinating that RIS
is where we wanted to be at the beginning: just outside of Bangkok? It too has incredible facilities and resources, but this school actually feels better. It’s a better fit for us as a family; a little bit smaller and more community/family centered.

RIS Campus

I applied the same “… or better” thinking when trying to decide whether to buy the “Pink Fury” scooter you may recall from my last post. Although I could definitely picture myself cruising around our new neighborhood on it, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was the right bike for me. It is VERY pink and it’s so square that it kind of looks as if it’s built out of Legos. I later learned that it has some quirks (read: drives like a tank).

The morning I was debating whether to buy it, I had the thought “Pink Fury or better” and then I let it go. Not an hour later, I got an email from Kevin: “Stop the presses! This just in! Pink Fury might need to take a backseat.” It turns out that one of the other teachers we’ve been in touch with at RIS had decided to take a last-minute teaching position he’d been offered in Chile—at the same school that Kevin had applied to several weeks earlier but hadn’t heard back from. This family had four weeks to pack up and move and were selling both of their scooters and were we interested in buying them? They were asking only 2,000 Baht ($55) more than the asking price for Pink Fury—for both of them. Of the many decisions we’ve been making recently, that was an easy one.

We are now the proud owners of these two fabulous scooters. I think it’s safe to say “Better!”

The boys will be chauffeured in style. I wonder if Tetley will fit in the basket?

Kevin’s sweet ride

So guess what else became available now that this family is moving? Yup, their house. The reason this couple had initially reached out to us was to encourage us to move into their neighborhood because they have 3 boys and several other RIS families with kids also live there. They had many great things to say about the area.

They sent us some photos of their house, and we loved it right away. Compared to the house we were looking to rent earlier, this one has more windows and beautiful ambient light, more air conditioners, has been wired for the fastest internet, has a washing machine indoors (a rare thing, apparently), has a much bigger (and nicer) Western kitchen, a covered driveway, a koi pond in the garden, and is only 5 minutes to school one way and 5 minutes to the main road the other way. The rent is also lower than the house we were first looking at. But maybe the best thing about it is that there are 3 boys who live right next door and several other kids in the neighborhood.

They asked their landlords on our behalf if we could be the new tenants, dog and all. They agreed and will even keep the rent the same. We’ll be getting the contract this weekend. It’s amazing to think that this house wasn’t even an option two weeks ago. Better than the other house? You bet!

So now we have a lovely place to call home and some sweet transportation ready to go. Things are beginning to fall into place, and we’re feeling very grateful.

Everything is also beginning to feel more real. Each of us has been up and down, emotionally, over the past two weeks. I’ve read that it’s natural to idealize your current situation when you know a big move is on the horizon, and it’s clear that we’re no exception. Spring has finally arrived (my favorite season), and I’m realizing how much I love the cool air on my skin and the sounds of birdsongs while I walk Tetley in the mornings. I know I’ll miss that, so I’m taking it all in.

The sadness about leaving is also starting to creep in. Tobin has made new friends on his street hockey team, and I’ve befriended some other hockey parents. It made me realize that most of the time we’ve lived here I’ve kept many friends at arms’ length, knowing that this was never our forever home I didn’t want to “put down roots,” as it were. But life is for living now, not for holding off for an idealized situation in the future. I’ve decided that I won’t hold myself back with new friendships in Thailand. I won’t make it matter that we might be there for only a few years. Having moved several times and lived in different places throughout my own childhood, I now understand that a sense of true belonging comes with full immersion. It will be good for the boys to know that and to witness us wholeheartedly embracing new friendships and unfamiliar experiences.

We’re entering the final few weeks of school here, which are inherently crazy in any year. But that’s all happening while we’re still working to sell our belongings, trying to hit work deadlines, visiting with friends and family, and attempting to stay sane.

I know I’ll be leaning on the “or better” thinking a lot more over the next few weeks as things kick into even higher gear. You might want to try it in your own life. What I’ve come to find is that it actually feels a bit like… magic.

Gif courtesy of a blog post on VR company Magic Leap on Tech Crunch.com

*The first amazing school is the International School of Bangkok.

This week’s been a doozy, weather-wise (and otherwise): cold, drizzly, and gray. One of Kevin’s Facebook friends declared that it was not May 5th. It was, in fact, March 59th. Part of me feels gleeful that I won’t have to be wearing a down parka and winter boots to walk the dog next May. Another part of me knows that this time next year, I’ll be wishing it were cold enough to do just that. You know how I know? While being taken on a personal video tour of the house I mentioned in last week’s post, we asked to see the yard. There was a distinct pause. Turns out it was 114 degrees outside. That is not a typo.

Did I mention that I’m not a big fan of humidity and heat? I wilt like a flower (but then smell quite unlike a flower). I suppose it’s a good thing that the hottest time of year in Thailand is April and May. That will give us several months to adjust to the climate before those kinds of temps become the norm. Fortunately, most places are air-conditioned. I imagine it will be like Florida in the summer; unbearably hot and humid outdoors, but you have to carry a sweater because it’s freezing inside. One of the teachers told us that her husband lost 30 pounds the first year they moved to Bangkok. Partly because he joined the running club and partly because “the first year, you just sweat. All the time.” Eeewww! But also, Hmmmm…. losing 30 pounds? Not a bad side effect…

Back here in frigid Massachusetts, this week’s weather has left me feeling woefully unmotivated. While the weeks are ticking by at an alarming pace, our progress feels slow, which has allowed all sorts of fears and worries to bubble to the surface. The idea of the move is still appealing, but the newness of it has worn off and a starker reality is settling in. It didn’t help when we learned that the house we were considering has just been rented to someone else. We had spoken with the landlord only two days before and had attempted to negotiate the rent. We were a mere 2,000 Baht (approx. $50) apart by the end of the call and had left it with her that we would be in touch early next week. Maybe it was something we said? It seems that maybe we have more to learn about the art of negotiation with Thai people. So we’re back to square one on that front.

We’re trying to reframe it as a learning experience and are trusting that the right house for us will show up. We know that we’ll find our home away from home, whether it’s before we go or when we get there. We also know that mistakes will be made as we traverse this great sea of “all things unknown.” While we’re mightily uncomfortable with not knowing many of the details of our new life, we’re trying to embrace the bumpy waves instead of fight against them. Our compass is grace, and true north is having faith in ourselves. This is all a humbling experience and one we know will leave us wiser and stronger on the other side.

Meanwhile, on the other side, current RIS teachers are posting things to sell. One of those things is a bright pink 3-wheeled scooter. OOHHH! I can see myself cruising around the neighborhood, one boy in front of me, one on the bench behind, and Tetley in the basket. It goes by the name “Pink Fury.” All it needs is a few Hello Kitty stickers.

This time next week I may have sold my Specialized road bike and bought this instead. Good trade.

Let’s see if we can do better with this negotiation. Kevin has made it clear that he will not be showing up to school driving “Pink Fury.” So the search is on for a more manly mode of transportation for Mr. Kevin, as his students will be calling him.

For now, this weekend has been declared the weekend to “post things to sell online!” In between a cub scout event, a hockey game, a shred-a-thon, a play date, some work, a mountain of laundry, and more paperwork. Onward! Well…. right after I go have a margarita. It really was May 5th this week, right?